2022 Football World Cup to be hosted by Sepp Blatter’s home planet

In Sport on Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Preparations underway on Gargantua to host the 2022 World Cup

England look set to lose out once again in their bid to host a World Cup as it has been announced that the 2022 finals will be played on Sepp Blatter’s home planet of ‘Gargantua’.

FIFA President Blatter provided the news that will no doubt break Geoff Hurst’s heart after a weekend visit to Gargantua to see his 472 year old mother.

Blatter denied any favouritism for his home world saying; Gargantua has a long history of hosting football competitions. Just last year they held a friendly with Manchester United, who have over 10 million fans that hail from Gargantua.”

Colonel Muammar Gaddafi is reported to be livid at the news as he had claimed his own home planet were certainties to host the 2022 competition. Interviewed on the golf course today, where he was playing a round with William Hague, Gadaffi had stern words for Mr. Blatter; “This will not stand. There has been a long history of Gargantua stealing stuff from my home planet ‘Mentaland’ and if they want a war we will give them one. The Gargantuan oppressors are no match for our armies of nutcases with their superior mental abilities.”