International space station crew ready for alien sex encounters
It has been revealed that NASA scientists are launching cargo rockets full of super-safe condoms and herpes anti-viral creams into space for astronauts on the ISS, just in case they engage in any 'close encounters' with sexy alien beings.
After watching the raunchy antics of Star Trek's James T. Kirk - who regularly seduced blue-skinned alien babes on his various trips to other-worldly planets - top brains at the space agency are concerned that randy astronauts floating around in the solar system might be tempted by the exotic charms of space sirens and pick up something nasty.
"Precaution is better than cure," explained head of extra-terrestrial venereal disease studies at NASA, Professor Brian Knobs. "If one of our dedicated space crew winds up on a rock-strewn alien planet populated with seductive looking, green-haired alien hotties that need to re-propagate their dying race, our men might not be able to resist their buxomly charms and outlandish, beehive haircuts."
"Although to be fair it's much more likely that the aliens they might encounter would be a microscopic, silicon-based bacterium or single-celled amoeba living in some sort of frozen, primordial goo."
"Oh, or possibly a sort of spangly gas with a brain floating in it," added the thick-lipped Professor Knobs.
ISS crew member Dan Burbank told us it was highly unlikely that they would meet any alien life drifting a few hundred miles above the earth, let alone any that might be do-able. Although the astronaut revealed if they were to encounter such a life-form, he hoped she will have at least three tits.
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