Geordie invents car that runs off piss

In Science and Technology on Friday, 16 December 2011

Mr Brainfart with his piss-powered car, the steam is an unfortunate side effect of the fuel

Outside Toilet exclusive! British Comedy, Toilet Humour, Office Jokes and Political Satire

Newcastle mechanic Baz Brainfart has stunned the technology world and delighted environmentalists by unveiling a car that runs off nothing but strong lager urine as fuel.

The 34 year old had been working on the invention in secret in the shed of his family home for two years, while his wife Dee filed a missing person's report to local police. The engineer emerged triumphant from his workshop last Friday evening - covered in oil, waving a piston in the air and reeking of piss - to the delight of his family and friends.

The new car - which is based on a modified 1988 Ford Mondeo 2.0GL, uses a new technology to filter off the methane from good, strong north-east pub piss and atomises it to burn in the engine. Mr Brainfart claims the vehicle will travel over 40 miles on a single gallon of Friday night, town center effluent. Despite the acrid, gut-wrenching smell from the exhaust, the inventor claims the car will be popular with a new breed of environmentally-aware, Tyneside alcoholics and landlords.

Outlining the benefits of the vehicle, the registered alcoholic told us "The stronger the piss, the faster the car will go. You can bomb around the toon all night, like, if you drink enough export-strength supermarket lager."

Mr Brainfart is currently selling his wife and daughters on the street to pay a worldwide patent on the so called 'Baz-Piss Engine', before presenting the technology Audi and BMW next Wednesday.