Shock as Cher Lloyd's 'Swagger Jagger' song was originally written by The Beatles

In Entertainment on Saturday, 13 August 2011

Top picture - the fabulous four, and below the fatuous one

Songwriter and bassist Paul McCartney has revealed exclusively that Number 1 UK single 'Swagger Jagger' by Cher Lloyd was originally written by The Beatles at the height of their career in 1969, just after the release of 'The White Album'.

Speaking to 'Celebrity Cum' magazine, McCartney describes how himself and John Lennon came to write the melody and lyrics.

"Yeh man that eye-watering awful turd of a song was written in response to the band members watching Mick Jagger intoxicated on a cocktail of drugs and alcohol, after which we nicknamed him 'Swagger Jagger'. Quite funny really because we had been up for a week eating quaaludes and LSD tabs like sweets. We were creatively spent after working on The White Album and shit this song out of our arses without even thinking about it."

"But even then in 1969, it was a much, much better song than the Cher Lloyd cover version currently at in the charts. I don't know what it says about our country that it got to the top of the charts, but believe me it was a fucking terrible song to start with and she has just murdered it!" Added Paul.

We asked weird-eyed ginger Amber-Marie Titwash, 18 - who was busying looting the CD single from her local HMV - what she thought of the song and the news that it was originally written by the greatest band in history. "Oh I luv it, I fink Cher Lloyd is brilliant. She ain't got nothink to be ashamed off, I luv her, innit."

"Who the fuck is Da Beatles anyway?" Added the gormless looking half-wit.